Yell at your daughter when she spills water on the table.

Yell at her some more when she cries because you’re yelling at her.

Yell that there’s no reason to be upset, it’s just water for the love of God.


Yell at your son when he drips water on the floor because he got out of the bath and went to his bedroom to get a bath toy.

When he tries to clean up his water mess, yell at him for using a clean towel instead of a rag.

When he gets a rag and tries again, yell that he’s dripping more water on the floor and can’t he use his brain and dry himself off before he makes an even bigger mess for the love of all that’s holy?

When he starts to cry and says, “I’m sorry, Mama, I’m so sorry,” drop an f-bomb, go to your bedroom, throw yourself on the bed, scream into the mattress, and wonder what on earth is the matter with you – do you have a water phobia or something? Or are you really just that much of a freak of nature that you would yell at young children because they spilled water?

Get off the bed, take a deep breath, and go apologize to your children. Feel like the most unworthy parent in history when they hug you and say, “It’s okay, Mama, I know you weren’t yelling on the inside.”