The Things I’m Looking Forward To

Well, I’ve made it to 35 weeks, which is wonderful. The babies are big, which is also wonderful. And I am enormous, which is not so wonderful. In fact, despite having done the whole newborn thing twice before, I am actually praying for an early delivery....

Queen Bee

On Friday afternoon, at my non-stress test, the contraction monitor picked up a bunch of low-grade contractions that I couldn’t even feel. Since they were a couple minutes apart, my nurse told me to take it easy for the next few days and stay off my feet. No...

Revenge of the Baby Hugger

When I went to the OB on Thursday, they weighed me, as they always do. I’d gained eight pounds in two weeks. And my belly had turned from a 35 centimeter watermelon to a 40 centimeter beach ball. Well, it would be a beach ball, if beach balls were filled with...

Itchy Mama

Two weeks ago, the soles of my feet started itching. We’re talking keep-me-up-at-night itchy here. Over the next few days the itching spread all over my body. I itched in places I couldn’t scratch: between my toes, inside my ears. Even my eyeballs itched....

Introducing…The Cankle!

Are you pregnant? Are you walking around on skinny, bony ankles that are no longer big enough to support your frame? Well, have no fear. The solution is at hand. It’s called…The Cankle! Straight from the pages of Fat Pregnancy, this brand spanking new...

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