Breastfeeding is a dream. The babies latch on properly every time, their feedings only take 20 minutes, and I never have to breast pump.
My nipples are never sore, red, chapped, or blistered, my breasts are never sore or engorged, I don’t get clogged ducts, and I don’t get mastitis.
I can feed the boys simultaneously without assistance, whipping them onto my breasts like a wild west gunslinger: out of holsters, onto breasts. Time elapsed: half a second.
Then I sit back, relax, and read a novel while they nurse happily and my older children bring me bonbons on silver trays.