The new shape of my life is a triangle.
Each morning we drive from home to Children’s to see Ben and go to rounds, where we hear about any issues he’s facing and what the day’s plan for him is.
Then we drive from Children’s to Group Health for some time with Luke, either skin-to-skin cuddling or some very interesting attempts at breastfeeding.
And finally we drive from Group Health to home to hang out with Jack and Jane for a bit before we drive the triangle all over again, this time with the older kids in tow.
Just for the record: I hate driving. It’s part of why I live in the city – so I can walk most anywhere I need to go. I’ve spent more time in the car this week than in the entire month previously … and I was driving to Group Health nearly every day in July for some pregnancy-related appointment or another.
But oddly enough, except for Wednesday, when I spent an hour and 45 minutes stuck in traffic and started feeling just the merest bit sorry for myself and may even have shed a self-pitying tear or two, the driving hasn’t bothered me.
Maybe that’s because Doug is doing most of it, while I sit in the passenger’s seat and return phone calls. (Thank the Lord for cell phones.)
Or maybe it’s because I’m just so grateful for Ben’s rapid recovery. What’s a little driving or a lot of traffic compared to the life of your child, right? (Dry your eyes, Kimberlee; it’s just a traffic jam.)
And the life of my son is little short of a miracle: yesterday, Ben was removed from the oscillating ventilator he’s been on since he arrived at Children’s on Saturday. He spent the whole day on a regular ventilator, and today he’ll likely be extubated and won’t be on a ventilator at all; he’ll be breathing on his own. This, for a baby boy whose lungs were tearing and collapsing and who was at death’s door on Saturday.
I am stunned and amazed and overwhelmed with gratitude at this miraculous turn of events. And I am deeply humbled that my son, our family, has been given this gift of Ben’s life, twice: the gift of his birth and the gift of his healing.
That’s worth driving for.