Okay. So. Wow.

I mean, wow.

That’s about all I can say. Wow.

We had our 20-week ultrasound on Friday. You know, the one where they take all the baby’s measurements to find out if it has any chromosomal anomalies or health/medical issues. But really, it’s the one when we find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. So there we all were in the ultrasound room – Doug, the kids, and me. The tech turns down the lights and starts moving his magic ultrasound wand over my bare belly. Doug says, “All right, kids, any last guesses whether it’s a boy or a girl?”

The tech says, “Looks like you can have a boy and a girl.”

“What?” I say.

“You’re having twins.”

Doug laughs, his nervous oh-man-I’m-in-trouble-now laugh.

I stare at the screen, unable to process what I’m seeing. “But – but that’s impossible!” I feel like I’m dreaming, or underwater, or in a movie. This doesn’t feel real. It can’t be real.

But it is. Even I can tell that there are two babies floating around on that screen…which means there are two babies floating around inside of me.

You’d think, being the worrywart I am, that I’d have considered this possibility a long time ago. And I did. But the in-office ultrasound at 11 weeks clearly showed just one baby. (When I told this to the tech, he grumbled, “They” – meaning the doctors and midwives – “shouldn’t be allowed to have those” – meaning the Fisher Price ultrasound machines they use for office visits.) And at my 16-week appointment there was just one heartbeat. So I went blithely off to California and Mexico and came home to my ultrasound and never suspected that there was an extra baby hiding in there.

I am going to be the mother of twins. Twin boys, no less! I am going to be the mother of not three but four children. Four! (I am also probably going to be insane and institutionalized before I’m 40…)

The good news in all of this (and no, I do not consider twins good news; those of you who do must have boatloads more energy than I do and don’t need much sleep, and I have nothing to say to perky people like you except go away) – anyhoo, as I was saying, the good news is that the babies are healthy. They each have their own amniotic sac, placenta, and umbilical cord, which, apparently, is a good thing. And they are the right size for their age.

Still, there are two of them. Hence, wow. What else can I say?